Kelly Garber Eulogy for her Granduncle Gilbert

The Talmud says, “There are stars whose light only reaches the earth long after they have fallen apart. There are people whose remembrance gives light in this world, long after they have passed away. This light shines in our darkest nights on the road we must follow.”

My Granduncle Gilbert was my bright, shining star in cashmere. If he were with us now, he would light up the room, wanting everyone to smile. He would not want us to focus on the sadness of his death, but instead look at the happiness we still have in our lives. He would want us to look at each other and appreciate what we have together and what we hope to make better.

After all of my grandparents passed away, my Auntie Lillian and Uncle Gilbert stepped up to the task, filling the empty space as my grandparents. I had always loved them, but now, I loved them even more, because as a little kid, they were going to be around forever. However, as I recently learned, time is of the essence.

Although I can no longer see my Uncle Gilbert in person, his memories will stay alive in me forever. I remember cruising down the highway in the white convertible with the top down and thinking “Wow, I have the coolest uncle ever”. And I remember falling down the stairs at his home in Lexington and hearing Uncle Gilbert yell “uh oh, we need a doctor” and sure enough, I needed stitches on the back of my head. I was so mad that night, not because I needed stitches, but because I missed ½ a night of being with him.

I remember when I was a little girl, playing with Lexi on Rosh Hashanah, trying to tie-dye a scarf outside, but accidentally tie-dying the whole back patio instead. I could tell by the look on my Uncle Gilbert's face that he was mad, but not once did we hear him raise his voice. After that incident, Lexi and I spent what seemed like hours trying to scrub the patio, and when we got tired-- our dads took over for us. I don’t think I’ve been outside on that patio since then.

I remember every Rosh Hashanah, my Uncle Gilbert and Auntie Lillian would save an extra batch of the hot dogs in dough for when I arrived. It was also one of these special nights that my Uncle Gilbert told me to “Have a party and invite my pants to meet my shirt”. Since then, that term has become one of the most frequently used phrases in my house.

Not more than two months ago, I went to visit my Uncle Gilbert. It was a week or two before he was going to Israel, and I knew that I would miss him. I knew that this visit was one that I would never forget, but not for the reason I hoped. It was during this visit to Lexington that I learned to play my first real chess game. My Uncle Gilbert was so patient and calm, even when I continually asked what each piece did. I wanted my Uncle Gilbert to win so badly, so when my dad would help me with a move, I’d do the opposite. Unfortunately, I ended up winning somehow, but I told Uncle Gilbert that he was the real winner because he taught me how to play. Little did I know that this visit would be the last of its kind.

Before we left each other, he told me how much he loved me, and I reassured him that I loved him more. We never knew when it might be the last time we got to tell each other that we loved one another.

On Sunday, May 20th,I found out that my Uncle Gilbert was not doing well, so I went to say my goodbyes. When Ronda told him that it was me who came to visit, he took my hand, and kissed it, while looking at me with his “I love you” eyes and a big smile.

Uncle Gilbert, I will miss your sweet kisses, and the arguments we had about who loves who more. I will miss your tremendous hugs and your voice. I will miss your bushy eyebrows rubbing against my face when you kiss my cheek and I will miss your calls at the end of a bad week. But most of all, I will miss visiting you and your cashmere sweaters. You were such an amazing person who will never be forgotten by any of us here on earth. Although this seems like goodbye, it is not. This is your Kelly saying see you later. I love you, Uncle Gilbert.