Gil’s primary dedication was to his family and, in furtherance of that, he was the family genealogist—continually striving to capture all the information he could on his extended family. One of his many major accomplishments in that long-time goal was a family reunion he organized in 1997 and held in Israel. Here is the report he prepared to describe that momentous event.
FAMILY REPORT OF THE REUNION IN ISRAEL
Kiryat Anavim, Jerusalem
May 1–4, 1997
In thinking of arranging a Family Reunion it occurred to me that I might plan a party to which no one would come; or maybe it would be a war where all involved would be on the losing side. Yet, not to plan a Reunion would be to forego the completion of the circle which started when my uncle, Max Garber, first organized the original family tree, graphically drawn by my brother Sumner and cousin Bernie Copans, all of blessed memory. I first met Joel Levy in Johannesburg when he was 8 years old. He was committed even at that young age to discovering everything about the Gavendo family. Three decades later we coordinated our family efforts.
Having pursued the family information over the ensuing 40 years, having seen it to fulfillment (though as a dynamic of family life it will never really be completed), having experienced our trip of three years ago to the places of our origin in Lithuania, could I really stop now?
So, with my neck stuck out, with my reputation as a professional meeting planner at stake, with the cooperation and expert advice of our daughter and her husband, Linda and Menachem Sagiv in Israel, we proceeded. With great optimism we reserved 25 rooms for three days, seven rooms for an additional day. I reasoned that if we realized 40 participants we’d be successful. But would the support be there to fulfill our plans to bring Bluma Katz and Josif Gavendo from Lithuania and to cover the myriad of costs related to staging a meeting, to support the updating of the family genealogy information (the Blue Book), to arrange proper memorials to those of the family who fell in the Holocaust, to plant a Jewish National Fund (JNF) Garden? Would anyone’s imaginations, other than our own, be captured? Would others share our sentiments that this would be a last-chance opportunity to explore our roots, to hear our family story at first hand, to realize all of this in the surroundings of Jerusalem?
In a recent article in The Book Peddler, the author writes about her activities in helping people learn of their roots saying, “Sometime it is only a narrow interest in their family names. But on an intellectual level it is much wider and deeper. For the intellectual things which happened…generations ago are part of their intellectual heritage, of their intellectual identity. You cannot live knowing only what happened to you.” Our past is part of what we are today, and our children’s future is being built on today’s present.
And what was to be the goal of a Reunion, what did we hope to accomplish? Was there not some way that we could acknowledge our forebears…especially those who lost their lives in the Holocaust? Are they to go unremembered by those more-fortunate family members? Was not their sacrifice the foundation on which our lives were built…the foundation of the very existence of the State of Israel? Would not the coming together itself of distant family members be a fitting tribute to their memories?
Did anyone share our sense of history, that the story of our family, now dispersed in 18 countries, in every continent of the world, was, in fact, the story of the Jewish people? Did anyone share our sense of excitement in learning how we got our family name, of discovering siblings and other relatives of our great grandparents, of learning of the connections with others who share our family name who came from the same shtetlach?
Obviously, everyone’s interest is not piqued by every question. Choose which applies to you. But in the aggregate, the answers to the questions posed were, “Yes, Yes, a resounding Yes!!!
When we departed for Israel we had more than met our minimums. More than 50 people were coming from 10 different countries. All who were coming from the Diaspora were related. Our minimum budget requirements had been met, thanks to broad support and a most generous contribution from our Colombian Gilinski cousins. Their contribution alone guaranteed Bluma’s and Josif’s participation. We had payment in hand sufficient to plant 150 trees in the Gilinsky/Gavendo Garden. Once in Israel and adding in the participation of those residents there, the final registration was 92. Gilinsky’s and Gavendo’s both known to us and unknown to us, were calling…can they come? While a few of the registrants had to cancel at the last minute, their spaces were filled by others including grandchildren and great grandchildren, once the elders saw what was taking place.
Success was evident from the first evening’s event on May 1. After a period of time for an informal coming together, there were introductory remarks, followed by a representative of each family coming forward to the microphone to introduce their family, tell of their connection, and whatever else they chose to say. Registered were relatives from the USA, Canada, England, Scotland, Holland, Estonia, Lithuania, Colombia, South Africa, and Israel. Mark Galinsky from Toronto had just been to Israel but was in Greece. Could he come? Dr. David Galinsky from Beer Sheva, Israel, planned to spend a few hours. He was leaving the country but spent more than 24 hours, leaving directly for the airport. David Galinsky, originally of Leeds England, now of Jerusalem, came to see. He summoned his newlywed sister and brother-in-law, and David returned…and returned…and we found the connection between his family and that of Isaac’s of Capetown, descendants of Abraham Gilinsky. And that’s how it went.
On Friday morning we made our pilgrimage to Yad Veshem. After a brief tour, we had our own family ceremony in the Hall of Remembrance. Our daughter Ronda Jacobson had prepared a reading of poems of the Holocaust written by children from various lands. Interspersed between the reading of the poems, the younger generation among us read the 162 names of those known at the time to have been lost from our family in the Holocaust. (Subsequently, an additional 42 family members were identified.) The readers were Joel Levy of South Africa and London, Robin Sadavoy of Canada, Rose Louer-Galinsky of Holland, Kim Leonard of New York, and two of my Israeli grandchildren, Toby and Nadav Sagiv. And then those who did the reading, led by Toby still in her army uniform (she had just joined us from her base) marched in procession to the eternal flame and laid a commemorative wreath. We all then recited the Kaddish. All were overwhelmed by emotion.
As we were about to board our bus, our guide/translators asked for the chance to speak to the group. They thanked us for allowing them to be part of a most-meaningful family tribute. As we were there on the week-end of the observance of Yom Hashoa, they expressed that we had captured the true meaning of Yad Veshem and especially so, by our involving the younger generation. The younger ones thanked us as well for including them in our ceremony. It was a very rewarding experience.
We returned to our kibbutz hotel where our sessions began. The Family Blue Book, now a compilation of all Gilinsky and Gavendo families known to us, was explained in detail using transparencies and an overhead projector. It’s a complicated book, but worth the time necessary to comprehend its format and contents.
Bluma then told the riveting story of life in the shtetl of Shvintzian, one of the key places of our family origin. (Palushe and Ignalina are two of the others.) Bluma lived in Shvintzian before the war and returned there after it. In 1937 she and her husband were apprehended and questioned about anti-Communist activity. Her infant child was taken from her. She was told that all she had to do was to confess to the charges and she would be set free. She recognized that would not be the case and, besides, she could not confess to what was not true. After months of interrogation under the most difficult conditions she was sentenced to 10 years in the gulag, to a mining camp far beyond Siberia, perhaps 35 miles from the Japanese border. She was never again to see her husband. She, and the other prisoners had no contact with the outside world. She knew nothing about the war, nothing about her baby daughter. After completing her sentence she had to stay in the area of the camp long enough to earn sufficient funds to pay for a ticket to return to her home town. She located her child who had been reared by the Communists. To this day, her daughter now a physician in Vilnius, can not be dispelled of the notion that her mother abandoned her. She refuses any contact with Bluma.
Bluma’s mission became that of finding out what had happened in our shtetl. How, in this predominately Jewish town, could there have been an uprising by neighbor against neighbor, friend against friend. She went from farmhouse to farmhouse, from door to door, asking what people had seen, where, how? She did find out that the uprising incurred spontaneously on one day, primarily by the Lithuanians, with some Germans alongside. She was told of the location in the forest where the killings took place. It was she who organized the party of survivors to arrange a fitting burial mound to mark the location of the mass grave…the one where so many of our family are buried. There is so much more to her story, more appropriately to be told at another time. On her return home she is to be interviewed for Spielberg’s Shoah Project. Her story will be recorded as part of the permanent record of the Holocaust. Bluma still lives in Shvintzian, determined to stay on, to serve as the historian of the area, to tell the story to all who visit. Perhaps, too, as an act of defiance, that neither the Nazis nor the Russians prevailed. One can only wonder what would have been our fate if our elders had not emigrated from that shtetl.
Then it was Josif’s turn, and he didn’t disappoint us. He was able to connect people in the audience. He was able to remind them of family events and places of their childhood. Since our visit of three years ago he had done further historical research on the origins of our family names: Gilinsky and Gavendo. His investigations have lent authenticity to his previous stories. He could have gone on…and on…and he did. Fulfilling our hopes of a personal recounting of our family story, bringing it alive.
His stories encouraged others to tell theirs. While some broke off from the larger group for the filming of each family unit, for inputting family information into the computer, to view the video of our trip three years ago to our shtetls, to show their own family snapshots, to discover.
Also in attendance at the Reunion was our very-dear friend David Kanter from our home town. Over the previous many months David and we had worked together to convert all of our computer data to an updated software program called Reunion®. It took many days and nights of concentrated effort, especially once we received Joel Levy’s data of the Gavendo family. David arrived in Israel with the latest printouts of all of the information. The printouts, in scroll form 24 and 36 feet in length, were posted on the walls of the meeting room. Everyone there whose information we had at the start of the meeting could find their name in its rightful place on their family printout. When David arrived we had approximately 3,100 names. By the end of the Reunion we had added 1,000 additional names. He sat with attendees adding, correcting, updating…one night until 3AM and he started again at 7AM. And he continued to meet with several people after the meeting. People came to our hotel, as they couldn’t fit into the schedule at the Reunion. David’s contribution, on a totally voluntary basis, added a great dimension to our event.
As an archaeologist uncovers places and things, the physical properties of the past, we were uncovering people…giving them life, personalities, faces, and stories. They weren’t just names of long-gone family members listed in a book. They became real people who lived and felt and functioned, who raised families and worked and built businesses.
The talents of our family know no bounds. Jodie Myers of Florida, daughter of Dr. Ivan Myers, originally of South Africa and more recently of Israel, was our official photographer. Jodie, of the Gavendo tree, had just graduated from Florida State University with a degree in film directing. We could have paid thousands of shekels and not gotten a better-qualified, better-natured photographer. She was wonderful. She is wonderful. She did 11 hours of video recording, plus snapshots of every family unit. It will take months to accomplish, but the intention is to edit the films down to one hour of fascinating viewing, with the film then being made available to all who are interested. Jodie plans to relocate to California and find her niche as a film director. Kol Hakavod, Jodie.
One overwhelming sentiment that pervaded was the feeling of how nice everyone was. There wasn’t a complainer, a clinker in the entire group. How pleased and impressed everyone was to be part of such a nice family. Not to single any one out, but to mention just a few: Helen Smolack, a very refined, elegant lady…only concerned that she appeared presumptuous in giving her biography. Her daughters, Carolee and Sharian, a psychoanalyst without pretense. Carolee’s daughter Robin, a lovely young lady. Maxine Jacobson of New York, now of Montana, rewarded herself with the trip as a graduation present, just having received her doctorate in Sociology from the University of Utah. She was accompanied by her daughter, Kim, a student at New York University. Our daughter, Linda, a teacher of English as a Second Language, just now about to receive her Master’s Degree. Her husband, Menachem, returned to school at Bar Ilan and got his BA just this year. Mark Galinsky of Canada, on sabbatical from his high-pressure position on Canada’s “Wall Street”. Dr. David Galinsky, a world renowned expert in gerontology. Chaya Meller, in the process of getting her doctorate in Yiddish studies at Bar Ilan. Joel Levy, now a dentist in practice in London. The Gilinski’s of Colombia, one of the pre-eminent families of that country. Guiora Gilinski of Jerusalem, recently retired as a police commander in that city; his wife Niede, a lawyer. And on and on…just an unusual group of nice (and accomplished) people.
But, I’ve digressed from the Reunion itself. Our final dinner was a gabfest, with all sorts of picture taking, spontaneous speeches, with our daughter, Ronda, acting as Mistress of Ceremonies.
Even as we prepared for the Reunion we were able to establish the connection between the family of Barbara Werlin of Los Angeles and that of the Omaha-originated Bruce Gilinsky family.
As a result of input from those present at the Reunion, we have positively connected the family of Alan Galinsky of Leeds with that of the family of Ike Gilinsky of South Africa. Both are descended from Abraham Gilinsky. There has always been strong indication that Abraham is connected to David, my great grandfather…but likely a cousin, not a brother.
We had received the tree of the family of Dr. Eugene Galen of Los Angeles, but did not recognize the connection with the family of Rabbi Hersh Gilinsky of Jerusalem. That has been accomplished. In fact, we were able to join together one unconnected family strand with my own tree, and six other strands were joined with other family strands.
So you see, by entering all Gilinsky and Gavendo names—with all their spelling variants—into the computer we found connections and are able join families together. It’s very gratifying when that happens. Closer to our own family was the experience involving Chaya Meller of Israel. She emigrated from Argentina some 25 years ago. She remembers that she brought a package from her father to Nathan Shapiro of Petach Tikvah, now a retired professor at Bar Ilan University. Nathan, brother of Siske who lives in Pabradje Lithuania, with Chaya’s reminders, vaguely recalls that he, as a cousin, attended her wedding. They had lost track of each other. Chaya bemoaned the fact that she had not had a single member of her side of the family to invite to any of her many family simches. At the Reunion she discovered Guiora Gilinski with whom she shares a common grandfather…the same immediate family as our Colombian cousins. Guiora and Chaya are my 3rd cousins. Chaya was ecstatic. Just one more example of the family connections which were made.
The last function of the Reunion was on Sunday morning when we gathered at the JNF Tree Planting Center at Ein Kerem, the location of Hadassah Hospital. Each of us present planted a tree, symbolizing the 300 trees which were purchased and are now a permanent commemorative as the Gilinsky/Gavendo Garden. A beautiful poem, written by Helen Smolack, was read along with all of the names of those in whose honor and memory trees were being planted.
As it evolved, ours was less a Reunion than it was a Union. We came as relatives who had not met before. We left as new-found friends, most of whom were relatives.
We had started our Reunion by honoring the memory of those who came before us. We acknowledged their importance to our existence today. We demonstrated our hope in the future of our families, in the future of Eretz Yisroel, by planting symbolic Trees of Life. Not only had we not forgotten, but we looked forward!!
After the Reunion, we visited the Museum of the Diaspora. Some of our family information is in their records. When we have incorporated all the information collected at the Reunion we shall send the Museum an update. At that time an updated edition of the family Blue Book will be ready, as well.
We gratefully acknowledge the contributions, both financial and otherwise, of the many members of the family (and David Kanter) who contributed so much to make this event the success that it was.
With great appreciation and warm regards to all,
Lillian and Gil
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